One of the problems with the #workplacebullying space is that there’s a lot of content about what to do during the aggression but not after.
I’m not talking about dealing with HR, lawsuits or the industrial court, but how targets can recover mentally from the trauma.
But here’s what can help, based on my experience and seeing what some of my friends have done:
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Get mental health support or help. A counsellor with experience in trauma is best. Or else, spiritual advisors. These professionals will help you process your feelings and the trauma you went through.
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Develop mental health practices. Learn to soothe yourself with journaling, long walks, time with friends.
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Limit rumination. This was key for my own recovery. One thing I learned is that dwelling on your trauma for hours and days on end, talking it with others over and over again, will sink you deeper into depression. I’m not saying to “stop” talking about it, but to limit your time talking about your trauma. Instead, focus on gratitude, or positive things. Get interested in other people’s lives. Listen to them. Help them. It’s training your mind for resilience, and to focus on brighter things.
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Keep busy by learning. This may not be the same for some, but I like picking up a course. I highly recommend Yale’s Science of Well-being, which you can take free on Coursera. It’ll give you the tools needed to cope during this time.
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Talk it out with people who had the same experience. Validation is powerful, because targets are often victims of gaslighting, doubtful of their own reality. I’d like to recommend Animah Kosai’s Speak Up chats on Clubhouse, where we occasionally talk about this.
Workplace bullying is hard and hell, but it doesn’t have to define your entire life.
If you have experienced bullying at work before, what were the things you did to move on and recover?